Kimberly experienced Nottinghamshire Hospice’s care when her Grandmother, Dorothy, was cared for at home by our nurses. 

Inspired by the kindness they were shown by the hospice, Kimberly and her family have chosen to do something to give back, so that other families can benefit from the same compassionate care they received. They are supporting our Sunflower Appeal in memory of Dorothy. 

In September 2023, Kimberly’s family received the devastating news that her Grandmother Dorothy, the ‘heart and head’ of their family had developed a glioblastoma brain tumour. In early August 2025, her condition worsened and she started to deteriorate rapidly within a few weeks, becoming bedbound and unable to communicate properly. The family were determined to keep Dorothy at home, where she had lived for over 20 years and where she wanted to stay. But struggling to care for her around the clock, they contacted the hospice for help

Kimberly shares her family’s story with us;

“My Mommar was always like a second mum to me; my mum was a single parent, so when she went back to work when I was a baby, my grandparents did the majority of looking after me. Like with all their grandchildren they were always very much involved and a huge part of my life. The ups and downs, watching me go through school, university, get married, and have a baby. My Mommar had a heart of gold and a smile that matched, everybody would always be warmed by her infectious smile and laughter, she is sorely missed by us all every day. 

Her and my grandpa had been together since they were in their early twenties, they met at the Dungeon Club in Nottingham, married in Nottingham, had 2 children – Lorraine and Adrian, and always lived in Nottingham. They were always hand in hand, they came as a pair, we’ve always said “they don’t make love like that anymore.” There is nothing that they wouldn’t have done for anybody. That’s how I’d sum them up really, they always made sure that everyone was comfortable and loved. We didn’t really have a lot, but we had each other and that that was always more than enough.

Mommar’s diagnosis

In 2023 she was diagnosed with a glioblastoma brain tumour. Being the nurse of the family, my grandpa rang me one Friday night for advice, he said that she had been saying the wrong words for things and seemed a bit muddled. Initially I thought it could possibly be a stroke or something similar, so I told him that she needed to go to A&E and be seen as soon as possible.  

She had a CT and MRI scan, which showed the tumour but they weren’t initially sure of the scale of it so she had to have neurosurgery follow up and opted for a biopsy. Unfortunately during the biopsy, she suffered from a brain haemorrhage and ended up in critical care. She was stepped down and eventually discharged home. The haemorrhage had affected her speech and being in bed had weakened her mobility, we weren’t sure if she would ever gain either fully back. She made some recovery with her mobility and was able to get out and about for the next year and a half, but her speech never returned to normal which was very frustrating for her. In July of 2025 she started to have a few falls at home, so as a family we grouped together to set up a space downstairs for her with her own bed so my Mommar and Grandpa could still be together, but eventually after more deterioration, we had to have a hospital bed put in the living room.

Caring for Dorothy at home

My Mommar and Grandpa didn’t want carers initially, my grandpa didn’t want to let her down, he wanted to do everything for her – which he had since the day she came home. We started to realise how much weight he’d lost, due to the stress and pressure that he was under, we were watching him decline as well, he was getting quite tired and fragile himself. He was finding it hard, but he’d never admit to that, he always wanted to give the best to her.  

He would have continued to do anything for her, no matter the cost. When we said to him ‘it’s not safe for you to get her out of bed anymore, you are not strong enough to pick her up when she falls, you could hurt yourself’- he would have still continued to do so because he loved her and it was hard watching her deteriorate in front of his eyes. In the end we agreed we would need to get some additional help.  

Me and my mum we were doing as much as we could to give Mommar her personal care in the day to help my grandpa, but it was overnight that we found we were struggling with. My uncle would stay until late every night. Mommar could get very panicky and agitated at night when it got dark because she was now downstairs in the living room, and not in her own bedroom. Mommar’s wishes were that she wanted to stay at home, we discussed with the palliative nurse that it was her wish that she didn’t want any hospital admissions either, so it was very important that she was cared for at home, which was very doable until that last couple of weeks.

Calling Nottinghamshire Hospice for help

That’s when my mum contacted the Hospice for overnight support. It was it was a rapid pick up from the Hospice, they came as soon as we contacted them to aid us and their communication and compassion was amazing. I don’t know what we would have done had that not happened because we were all struggling (though didn’t want to admit it). If we didn’t have the Hospice we would have probably had to have had a discussion on what we needed to do next for her. We knew that carers wouldn’t do overnight sits and it would have to be a case of finding the money to fund people to come overnight, and financially that just wasn’t viable as it comes at such an expense. We didn’t know if she was going to have to go somewhere else if things got worse, but luckily we never had to have those conversations as the hospice helped us to keep her at home.  

It was very important to her that she stayed at home because she loved the house, it was very important to both of them, they had been there for over 20 years. She loved the garden and we could actually have her bed facing out over it.  

Her and my grandpa never thought that they would be able to move to that house. They were in a smaller terrace house, with a small concrete backyard and they saw this house with a gorgeous front and back garden, just offset from the main road, south facing, everything that they never thought that they would get. My Grandpa still recalls the day that they sat on a bench across the road and wondered if they’d ever be lucky enough to get it.

A home full of memories

It’s had so many happy memories of family, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Christmases, birthdays, Sunday dinners and summer barbecues. We’ve got dogs as well, my grandparents used to look after them for us all when we had to work, we called it ‘doggy day-care’! So, it was equally very important that we could all be together as a family, even including our four-legged friends! 

It was very comfortable having her at home, having her cared for in her own environment, it just felt right. The nurses were absolutely fantastic, they took the pressure off my Grandpa overnight, which also took the pressure off all of us because we were so worried about him too. They gave him that time and space away to actually have a bit of a sleep and a rest himself. And if he didn’t go to bed, they talked to him, they had conversations about my Mommar, and I think it was really a form of therapy for him to have someone else to talk to. They were there for my Mommar, but I don’t think he realised how much they were actually supporting him through as well.  

Even though the memory of having her pass there is still very raw, it still feels like a victory that we managed to keep her wishes to stay at home right up until the end. We know in our hearts that we did everything right by her. Everything was done as she would have wanted it, she was comfortable and she was at home, we wouldn’t have been able to achieve that had we not had the hospice’s help.

Supporting the Sunflower Appeal

Everybody that came was so kind and that’s why we decided to raise the funds for Nottinghamshire Hospice at her funeral, we knew that they helped more than anyone else could have and we were, and forever will be, really grateful for that. Having the overnight nurses completely changed my grandpa’s outlook on not wanting to accept any help, my mum would tell him there was a sitter available and you could see him relax a bit because he knew he would be getting someone to come overnight. To anyone who is sceptical about having someone come into your home environment, the hospice nurses were respectful of our wishes and tailored the care to suit the needs of both of my grandparents. 

We want to support this appeal, because we as a family wouldn’t like anybody else to feel like they need to struggle through circumstances like ours when there are services such as Nottinghamshire Hospice on hand to help you take care of a loved one. We would never have put ourselves in this situation a few years back as the diagnosis came out of the blue and completely turned our world upside down, knowing now that things can change so rapidly raising awareness of the hospice was something we were very eager to do.  

There might be other families that see this appeal and their family member might be in a similar situation or even find themselves in this situation in a few years’ time from now. Even one day or one night of care per week, it makes a huge difference because families can gain a few hours of respite back, allowing them then to spend that quality time with their loved one. Even having someone impartial to the situation there to talk to who understands is a huge support. I don’t think that people realise how important even simple conversation can be especially for the family and the partners involved with people that need hospice care at home. We just can’t thank the Hospice enough.”